Tuesday, September 30th, 2003

Subject:drove off a cliff and died on impact
Time:4:34 am.
who-da who and busta bustI had a lot to say earlier and wanted to update, but i was getting so many hits from smitfans and maskfans reading my drunken update about smitty's 21st bday costume party, so i wanted to leave that on top for a little while...but as Busta Rhymes once said.."I cant hold the heat no more, i got to release it"

i made a new title bar today, because teggitoff asked me if i was ever going to get rid of the Diet danwho one, and as my site is still not where i had planned at this point, i feel it is slightly less diet than it was. Its like Pepsi One, which i think is incredibly gross, or maybe like a caffiene free soda, but i think diet is a bit too depleted to be an accurate analogy. o wait how about a watered down light beer...thats fair. or maybe like a subpar underachieving content-lacking website, yeah that makes more sense then beverage similes. But to be totally honest, i am really disspointed in the new title bar, it bores me, and thats not good, so it'll probably be out of your hair soon enough, like semen after a shower.

Today as i was walking to Phillip Seymour Hoffman Hall to the offices of the Breeze, for my interview, i fell witness to an accident directly in front of me. thats right someone wet their pants...come on, a car accident, moron. I was walking and as i stepped onto the sidewalk which runs parallel to, and touches South Main Street, a car pulled out of some driveway right next to me and straight into the side of a passing car. I felt bad for the guy who got hit for no reason, he was driving along, minding normal traffic flow and obeying all laws, except for the the beer and joint in either hands...and then hes plowed into by stevie wonder.

he really didnt have a joint in his hand, it was in the ashtray, silly, and the beer bottle wasnt opened...anyway, the accident wasnt major in that neither person was hurt, but im sure one of them will claim whiplash or irritable bowel syndrome later in court. That gif that i posted there is pretty much exactly what happened, and i was lucky enough to find it online, in that i didnt bring my extensive collection of matchbox cars to school with me. But i have to give credit to the people responsible here

I kept walking, even though i might have been of service to the police in determining blame, being an eye witness who was within 5 feet and looking right at the scene at the time fo the incident. look at that! its shocking.But i had to be going, so i fled the scene, and i am now an accessory to murder, on the run, im actually writing this on a bullet train somewhere in eastern Europe, good luck tracking me down though these trains are fast, i bet u'd try to jump from the mountain above on the top of the train, thinking you are Steven Segal in Under Siege 2: Dark Territoy, but u'll probably break your legs and fall off the top into a pit of aligators below.

i'll get back to you about that later...
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Sunday, September 28th, 2003

Time:4:30 am.
groucho, ben frank and mexiacanodo u really think i should be writing now? hahha i dont. and im really laughing out oud hard and hearty....smitty turned 21 earlier this evening, and wow what a big boy...we had a party at his place to commemorate, and it wa so great, im more trashes than ever wehn i usualy write at night drunk....

i have very little sto say im so tired and drunk, i went to the party as groucho marx, and i got a good array of positaive feedback on the getup...smitty was benjamin franklin, and he rocked so hard its silly to relate to u...and ryan was a peein mexican in 3D, and there are some pictures of him peeing, realy peeing , top views, great shots, make me wanna cry with splooge...

i cant wait to see some pictures of the night i was part of, because i cant remeber anything, i spent all day witxh marcx bros movies on in the background while i talked online, played madden or hung with sarah and i was in some rare form as groucho...really the only left o add to this post are the pics which i do not yet currently have..o wait micheal keown has some...

i feel mike doesnt get enough recognition in my posts, but hes a great firend and hes always at the center of the party, he could talk the pants off the pope,..or bishop as ive been saying lately..and hes the force behind next weekends top secret extravaganza, i dinbt hink im at liberty to discuss details but lets jst say it has somethingto do with a good amount of good looking girls wrestling in bay oil in a baby pool in bikinis, i hope i didint leave u too in the dark, wondering about what im talking about...

MPK44: i'm so fuckd up
MPK44: antonys' pizza was great
danwho247: i am too
danwho247: i lovce anthony
MPK44: i love anthony too
MPK44: he's so caring
danwho247: i had a bagel and cream cheese a sec aago
MPK44: and good with children
MPK44: thats good stuff too dan
danwho247: anthony is a great guy
MPK44: he probalby donates money to animal shelters and shit
danwho247: ahahahahhajaja
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Friday, September 26th, 2003

Subject:state by state with the state
Time:6:11 pm.
inspired by Ryan Perry at gorillamask.net's recent emo post, i decided to put the following up...that with the fact i have nothing halfway decent in my brain right now

first of all this is stolen material...I, in no way claim this following post as my own, i am not nearly as clever as the authors...This selection is from page 138 in State by State with The State: an uninformed, poorly researched guide to the united states, which is one of the best books ever written, and as it is the brainchild of the members of The State comedy troupe, i am in love with it.

Secondly, you might say, danwho you are a loser, which hurts my feelings but is justified, because i only posted this because of ryan perry, and yes thats true but heres why i dont care: this is funny; this is not my material; i have been thinking of ways to work these lines into away messages and profiles for some time, so its been on my mind; i feel it compliments gorillamask's emo post; and most of all, im not in the same ballpark or fucking league as gorillamask, so why are you even comparing us, hes a genious with half a million hits and im a slob with handful of friends; and finally, you are a jerkofface so who cares what u think (im sorry, apologize wholeheartedly). Here we go:

the states punk rockersPunk Rockers And You

No trip to any big city is complete without paying a visit to the bleak, jaded children of its suburbs- the "punk rockers." You'll find them hanging around any dimly lit place that sells cigarettes, and once they get to know you, they will hang out with you forever- at least until something to do comes along that's not total bullshit.

Depite their vibrant plumage, most punk rockers are timid, very, very, angry creatures, and when approaching them you should remember a few simple DOs and DONTs:

DO: Fall on your face and pretend you're out cold for a few minutes, then spring up and yell, "Fuck Off!" before you approach them. This will put them at ease.

DON'T: Say "hello" right away. Stand among them silently, looking around nervously for a few minutes first. This will further convince them you're one of their own.

DO: Bring Budweiser.

DON'T: Wear your new Budweiser T-shirt (unless you're clearly wearing it ironically).

DON'T: Give one shit about what people think of your looks.

DO: Use Manic Panic hair dye (available in all cities that aren't total bullshit) and spike it. (Mix egg white, sugar, and a little shaving cream in a bowl for ten minutes. Brush onto damp hair and hold in the desired position until the mixture dries. Sometimes it doesn't work and you have to start over from scratch.)

DON'T: Thank your parents for the $1,000 birthday present they gave you.

DO: Cry geniune tears of joy when your best friend gives you a car part he stole and painted blue. Keep it forever.

DON'T: Get caught brushing.

DO: Assume any punk rock you don't know is bullshit.
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Wednesday, September 24th, 2003

Subject:i apologize in advance, u fickle lazy fools
Time:8:42 pm.
dayquil dreamsmaybe its the half a bottle of DayQuil i swilled, mom i'm exaggerating, (no im not), but even with my nose running to my chin and a chest full of flem im incredibly euphoric..ive spent the past two and lets say .67repeating bar days in a bit of a haze... to the naked eye, i have seemed constantly high to many, like neuman and hayden, who i saw at the trombone recital...but its just this giddy, slit eyes, dribbling on myself sweatpants wearing cloud of rediculosity.

Do you remember, back when i told you about my trip to nawlin's, of course you do, cuz i never shut up about it, well there's so much to it and it relates to everything so im sorry but its a good way to tie my life together...so listen, one night drunk on bourbon street, there was this guy, who pointed to my shoes and said, "i bet you ten dollars i can guess where you got your shoes at" i was wearing my three strap velcro pumas.. drunk and thinking that this guy would never guess that i bought them online from the Puma store, and had them shipped from Denmark, i told him i couldnt bet him because he'd lose and then might not believe me and want to fight about it...

so i avoided the bet, i told him he could guess for 'attaboys' and i'd tell him the right answer when he was wrong but i wouldnt put money on it...well today smitty gave me some hilarious news...he read in Maxim, a selection of quotes about Nawlins': "if a homeless guy comes up and bets you 10 bucks that he can guess where you shoes are, don't take the bet. he'll say on yo' feet." all this time later and this situation just got funnier.

the sky is so beautiful, its this flawless blue, theres nothing else like it, when i think of my favorite color, i said green as a youngin', but have been calling on blue as my color of choice for the past few years, but when i say i like blue, i dont mean blue, i mean the sky...night sky, day sky, winter sky, summer sky, i love it so much, im sorry, this is kind of like what i used to write about last year in my livejournal...

last year when i was spending my time staying up for days to see as many consecutive sunrises and sunsets over the mountains as possible without sleeping, and i would walk around having my eyes play tricks on me after being deprived of sleep for unhealthy increments of time...and i would write about the beauty of the world and quote lines from songs like John Mayer's 3x5....but do i really want to get into that right now? do u want to read about that? is that healthy, the transcendant states of bliss being complimented by the sense of impending doom and overwhelming regret, but i had just cause for such bipolar reactions, i wasn't sleeping, my body was reeling, i was failing out of school and all the while being surrounded by beauty.

enough of this, as marc grossman would say, Jibba Jabba, lets get down to brass tacks, what does that mean, who deals with brass tacks?, like thats the base?, thats the end all, be all, brass tacks? im sorry im incoherent, not everyone can be ryan perry, but thank god he can, we need more content filled, continuously updated ubersites like his. what is uber? german for super? i think so...

danwho pezlast nite because of music class regulations, me and smitty went to a trombone recital, trombones really arent that much fun to listen to, except when he put the plunger in it and it was muffled and barely audible that was nice...he was accompanied by a pianist, who was delightful, and in one song, by his wife with a french horn...however i thought it was funny that on the program it just said Horn, i wonder if that has anything to do with Freedom Fries or Toast, or maybe its acceptible to call a french horn simply a horn, but when i saw just horn on the program i was curious what type of horn...could be confusing to some peo-...me

anyway the trombone concert ended with a video presentation of clips of animals in the wild, that went along with the trombone music he was playing...The best part was when two giraffes were fighting...i have never seen girraffes fight or thought about how they would, but they stand next to each other and swing their necks and heads like maces at the other one, striking it with fury in the body...i thought this video presentation odd, because the cute animals made people laugh during the recital, and if you've ever seen that pez dispenser episode of seinfeld, you know that laughter during a recital is very off putting to the performer
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Monday, September 22nd, 2003

Subject:no rythym...drunk ramble post followed by sober serious and scientific post followed by pointless me
Time:2:56 am.
nano dani know i keep updating and your like come on, sometimes u go for weeks without a tiny little morsel of anything interesting to relate and now ur flooding us with too much info, and u dont really want to read it, ur tired, ur busy, u have stuff to do, but things keep running through my head and i feel like smashing my extremeties into this keypad until something legible is electronically produced...

you know that commercial for Nanotechnology, its a "HP Invent" commercial, you know the one, "N is for nanotechnology" with all the little blocks, with the cell phone so small an ant could use it and the wristwatch size computer that holds every book ever written....u know it, come onnnn...anyway, how do i get involved in this field? this is better than CIS, Hewlett Packard is working with the very building blocks from which all things are made of, atoms? molecules, i dont know, but thats what they claim...well anyway i want to be involved in such developments, on the forefront of many new exciting things, thats kind of why i'm into Information Technology, but this nanotech seems new and fresh like a little fawn, who has infinite hopes and dreams, the skys the limit...

Now i'd like to say hello to the Jets...ooo the jets, ladies, do u realize that being comeback kids is getting increasingly difficult each year? the AFC East is rediculously good this year, and there is no way to play this badly and beat out Buffalo, Miami and New England...i dont ever want to say die, because u went 1-4 to begin last year and continued to 2-5 and still won the division last year at 9-7....but that isnt happening this year, i know this is probably Vinny Testaverde's farewell tour, when Chad Pennignton comes back from his injury, Vinny will probably be done for good...and with over 40,000 yards passing, he's 8th on the list of alltime QB's and by the end of this season will probably be 7th. and i like vinny, i really do, i mean how often does a color blind 40 year old get to throw passes into and out of the hands of curtis conway... But guys could you find a way to run Curtis Martin, hes quite capable, but the blocking and play calling is not there and my fantasy team could really use it...lets not make this season a complete waste for me.

when i had started to write this post, i had like a thousand good ideas to write about coursing through my cranium, but i took a break to get food with kevin and shea and later to hang with sarah, so i really have forgotten what was so important...hopefully my packages come tommorow, im going to be mailing some pete and petes tommorow and i got a new customer today ever though ebay shut me down...karthik just turned off the tv to get some real studying done, and not 2 minutes later fell asleep sitting up, i really dont know how he's supporting himself without falling over...hahahhaha....

well have a good one..come on, for me, fine suffer through it buddy but i was just saying...no i wa--..but i wanted to sa--...ok im sorry, consider it a closed topic, alright shake on it, good, no no dont worry, we are better friends for it...
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Sunday, September 21st, 2003

Subject:dans deviously deceptive drunk dancing dudes
Time:4:34 am.
Music:rufus wainwright.
dance it up danieldrunk again ill let u in on my trivialities....

something is in the air tonight, someting devious...i was at ryan and teggys again, and lets prelim this with the fact that i am there everyweekend if not several days a week....and tonight was rediculous, speller devil may care, so much anger and confusion was out and about among some of the party guests tonight, and i kept trying to get people to smile and dance it off, just dance, how can u want to fight that jerk if ur dancing and smiling.... some guy who claims that the guys at 1053a are his boys, tried to bounce smitty, me, jeremy, alan and john, for no reason, and im sorry but ryan and teggy are our boys, johhny and brad are out aquaintences, and none of us had ever seen the kid before, but dancin is nice medicine....we were on our way out anyway, but the kid wanted none of us, well fuckhim, dance it up dance it up...

tonight was just too drama/hostile at the parties that i was baflled, at least 6 counts of aggressive behavior from all sides of me, i was hangin out and just happy to be alive and kids are fighting over beer pong, people standing near their trucks, peeing outside...among others. and Kevin, kb, came home and said his whole night was ruined by drama and infighting, what was going on tonight?

since ive been back ive been watching james's webcam, i'd give u the link but its only workign so far for people on the jmu network and i dont want to link to somehting that will just error anyway. itll beon cannedjam when he gets it working right...now im watching him trying to sleep, but really just fidgeting cuz he knows hes on camera...he had the cam on his tv for a while and was showing some lesbian soft core that was on hbo or something and was making hand shadow puppets of like dogs biting the strap on that was being worn by one girl and "sucked" by another...sucked is in quotations because, what? whats the point of pleasing some plastic rubber? u are just kind of ignoring ur lesbian heritage if u are sucking a fake dick, and the one wearing it was pretending to like it, come on who writes this bullshit...

james seems to be out cold now, my legs are kind of numb, i feel like my whole body needs a good stretch, like a cat arching its back and clawing at the ground, raaarrrr....i thought i had a lot to say in this update but i can only think of one more topic which i was kind of saving to write thoughtfully and sober as not to...as not to...well something i cant think, theres a word or phrase i meant to go there, but i lost it, but i jsut wanted to mention sarah because i have been hanging out with her alot since i first met her a few days ago, and she said i better mention her, and something nice, well she might not have specified something nice, but why would i say something mean? hi sarah...but anyway we really are very quite similar, mostly in weirdness and some other qualities we ran down today. so..."dont secondquestion yourself"...so yay

also i have been getting some rediculous, very scary, very real deja-vu, do i dream the future, or is everything so similar that my brain thinks ive seen it before..the other night driving around with sarah i swear i have dreamt the same exact moment in time before, the place, the car, the feeling, her words...and when i dreamt it it meant nothing to me because it was so real but so unfamiliar and now it comes to life, and tonight at the party i had several of the same experiences, and after i was drunken yellling to everyone how weird it is, then i had to sit and contemplate something this, as marty mcfly would say, HEAVY.
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Subject:frogs ribbit'in jibberish in my mind
Time:6:23 pm.
wha..wha..wha?i want to talk a little more soberly and in depth on Deja Vu, it is such a fascinating mystery...i know i am not alone or unique in this but, i have for most of my life expreienced Deja Vu, the feeling of having had already seen or experienced something..for me it usually comes in moments, fleeting glimpses of a way something feels and the still frame of my surroundings and often a word or phrase that triggers it. David O sent me a link to howstuffworks.com that talks about deja vu...

while reading, i understood that in some cases in which i have experienced this deja vu, it was no more than a weird feeling of the repetition of something familiar, and this is not necessarily explainable, but some theorize that :

"Another potential explanation involves a glitch in the exquisitely timed processes of perception and cognition. This theory proposes that sensory impressions of a current experience get detoured in the brain and are not immediately perceived. The information is, however, stored as a memory. This split-second delay in cognition creates the unsettling impression that the event "is being experienced and recalled simultaneously," (Time magazine).

this theory could account for many of the times i have experienced the feeling of deja vu, but not for some...These past experiences over the previous few days, on which i commented about in yesterdays drunken slur, were something else entirely. I dreamt about these moments in time, whether i had fully functional dreams and only recalled moments when i awoke, or i only dreamt the moments themselves...but i woke up and consciously recognized these moments, just short experiences, but i was conscious enough of them to think about it, and wonder about what the rest of the dream's context was...

and then days later i experienced the same moments again. this is not a brain slip that allows me to mistake present for past, i was fully aware of these moments days ago, and then relived them. There are other theories for deja vu, some dealing with wish fulfillment, and i wonder if this would fall into that category, perhaps it meant i was looking for the same moment from my dream subconsciously or something, i dont' really understand the full meaning behind the wish fulfillment theory, in that i wasnt trying to relive a dream, some sort of hopeful experience i wished to live out in reality, these were just moments, nothing spectacular or deserving of fulfillment.

and speaking of DEJA VU...this is familiar, Ebay removed my Pete and Pete Auction due to yet another count of violating its Recordable Media Copyright Policy...damnit, once again, alf is still fine, but pete and pete is gone, and it was an hour from ending and was over 60 bucks when i checked last night, just after i bought 50 bucks worth of new blank tapes, and since it was removed i cant even find out who bid on it to contact them directly...well im not sure what i'm going to do this time, last year when this happened i reworded and relisted the auction in a slightly more ambiguous way to avoid suspicion, but that was also removed, and then i took a 6 month break from selling, only to come back recently with a vengence, rip roaring out the gate, making over 500 bucks in a 2 weeks...but anyway, ill figure it out, but to avoid those bastards at ebay, just buy my videos directly from me here and ummm here.
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Thursday, September 18th, 2003

Subject:why just the other day, i was talking to a baby, and told it a dead grown-up joke, and it went wild
Time:4:31 am.
Music:big boi - rooster.
filthy lowlife got what it desevedi only saw Reno 911 out of the corner of my eye tonight because i was explaining to some friends what a great show it was, no fear it will be re-run over and over again, i had more fun talking to my new firends anyway...but if you did see it, lets talk about it shall we, because i know the basic gist from the previews, Garcia is celebrating some sort of anniversary on the force and in one scene they give him a pinata...Now heres where my point becomes to clarify..think pinata, think danwho...yeah well, Garcia violently rips the pinata down from its hanger, throws it to the ground, and repeatedly fires his firearm into the filty little pinata's face...After unloading the clip on the paper mache' midget he berades it with angry cursewords...This is Simply Fantastic....

I wish my server was accessible or i would put the video of me beating a pinata senseless with a bat and later my fists in a drunken rage at my birthday party, back online...the video was originally on CannedJam.com but is not any longer...i have a copy but due to maintenance my server is not accessible to add files, but luckily i can still post due to the fact that i have a livejournal embedded in my site, i've never been happier to have taken the easy way out...well i probably have, i take the easy road alot.

i was on my way to walmart today to buy more blank tapes for no reason...on an unrelated topic see my complete series Pete and pete on VHS and Project ALF on VHS pages...well i went to get my car and i get in and turn the key and... nothing, thats weird, cars usually start when you put the correct key in the ignition and turn the distance neccessary for the battery to send enough electricity to the spark plug, ingniting some oil, starting the motor or something, i dont know much about cars...im not much of a male, i guess...im pretty sure my battery is dead so that sucks, and its a new battery, i cant figure out how it drained, in that the lights were off, and the doors were not ajar, well one for the ages i suppose...me and a bud enjoying a cool drink

you ever been to nawlins' if you have then you've had the world famous Hand Grenade's right? the strongest drink on bourbon street, made with ingredients so secret that no one ever quits their job or is fired at Tropical Isle, where the brew is concocted, they just go missing, and are found in the Mighty Missisipp...but the drink contains everclear, and comes with a stern warning about the dangers of consuming more than one...well if you havent had one of this simply delicious swills, then you should be upset...I ordered a gallon of their mix, which i assume is powder and will be impossible to duplicate thus solidifying there stature as the only vendors of the drink and the proud owners of the secret for all of time.
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Subject:higly refined pirates
Time:2:26 pm.
Pie-rats ahoyas i was sitting around talking, yet once again, about Pete and Pete and Project ALF, ALF, Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Winnie the Pooh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The State and how i have some episodes if not complete series on VHS, and about how i have made some significant "cheddar" selling these videos, Karthik said "this guy is one of the biggest piracy guys out there" or something to that effect, i dont mean to misrepresent his quote but i forget the exact words, im sorry give me a break, stop hitting me, jerk..

well this got me thinking today...Piracy, that kinda sounds like Pirate, in fact i think they might even have similar meanings...So i am a Pirate, one of the biggest, according to Karthik and he knows about such things...Now this is exciting because who hasnt once dreamt of being a pirate? Yeah Yeah i know that ever since music, videos, and programs have been readily available fo sharing online, just about everyone is technically a pirate too, but how much money have u made, and how many scalawags have you forced to walk the plank? really? seven? thats actually more than me, i thought i'd be safe with my 4 but i guess not...

anyway, ill pirate the fuck outta you anyday mister, or missus...just lie down and take it now, cuz when i get sued, u'll really have a good laugh

i know the hurricane is big news and it should be, its a big sucker, but since you and i both have been overloaded with news on it, here's the only thing i'll say about it...and its barely hurricane related...it was pouring today when i was getting ready for class, and i saw all the little babies running with umbrellas and garbage bags over there faces, choking to death in plastic prisons, and i said fuckit why fight this thing, its like a day at the beach in England (having never been there i am just speculatiing), so i put on flip flops and my bathing suit and tra-la-la-ed to class...

i returned after a class with cuts and blisters on both feet, i hate my god forsaken flipflops...the straps are made of razor fucking blades, they are possibly the only thing from or about nawlins that i do not get a big soft erection over, my sandals had just broken and i needed new ones for the rainy days when nawlins floods...so we went to payless which was right next to the ghetto Winn-Dixie that i, being the youngest in our group, bought beer in without being carded, twice, and in which ryan gray bought a handle of captain morgans with a chalked JAC card, silly nawlins ghetto

well, you payless you getless, and these fuckers have given me nothing but lip since i purchased them...oww my feeties...the only other thing slightly hurricane related is that the post office on campus will be closed all weekend because school is cancelled. this is no good, not only is the post office this pirate's silent partner but i have several purchased goods being delivered this weekend, and closed post office means i cant get them until monday, poorr danwho, people in obx are losing their homes and im crying about waiting a few days to play ncaa 2004 and watch marx bros movies...what an ass.
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Wednesday, September 17th, 2003

Subject:ill call u shirley manson, cuz you're a little garbage girl...
Time:4:29 am.
Little Pete and Me back in the day i recently put up a page for each Project: ALF and The Complete Series of Adventures of Pete and Pete, and it is not "legal" to sell either of those videos because they are "copyrighted materials" and i do not currently or formerly "own" the rights to sell either... i do however, own copies of both on VHS and i also own a double decker VCR that copies tapes at the press of a button. Now i'm not saying that i would even think about rebroadcasting or reproducing either without the expressed written consent of both Disney (parent company of ABC on which project:alf was made for) and Viacom (the parent company of Nickelodeon) respectively.

Lets say that if someone contacted me via EMAIL or instant messenger me and told me to bring my videos to a specific secluded location, and then proceeded to steal my videos but only after i stole their wallet containing a certain amount of money, then maybe we'd be..no stealing is illegal...

But if "my personal copies" which were, lets pretend not illegal (they are still reproductions), were to be mailed to or delivered to someone else, and that other person was to make a donation to my tax deductible charitable organization, i think we might be able to avoid prosecution.

ok, lets not be cute anymore cuz lets face it it doesnt suit either of us, i have videos, you want videos, you have money, i want money, im not trying to get sued, contact me and we'll talk about how good the show was and how you may be able to get your hands on your own copies.

along with the two video pages, im also going to put up some pictures on my pictures page, of both real and less real images, and i put my older updates links together on a page, im going to spice up all the pages eventually but Mindlash the good server folks behind me and Smithappens and countless others are switching servers to get away from some attackers who are making their servers run slow. I only tell you because with the changes i dont know how much maintenance i will be up to for a few days.

smithappenscannedjam--I also wanted to explain my links, because i recently added some more without warning. Obviously on top their is under the subtitle My idols, is Smithappens and CannedJam and you should know about them by now, and most of you either frequent them everyday or came here from there and good so you got them down. they are good friends of mine both and creative geniouses all the while being geniouses in general. love them please.

aces--Next is Ryan Gray's livejournal...Ryan is also a good friend and while his journal is still new but he posts not only his thoughts about life and film but his literary workings, which are a treat... you wont regret the effort of clicking the link.

kevinfriendly--after that is Kevin Friendly.com, kevin baker is a good friend of mine, who has been through several, equally enjoyable and fashionable layouts since ive been frequenting his site and he just came back from an extended absence of posting with yet another layout, give him love

homestarrunner--the following is Homestarrunner dot com, which if you live under a rock, is a mass internet cult following, well if its a said "cult" following i guess you might not live under a rock and still not know about it, anyway its hilarious, if you arent a fan at first make sure you hit strong bad emails, marzipans answering machine and Teen Girl Squad before you give up and it will make you a happy little flower

lameking --next kitten in the basket is Lameking.net, which is a great souce of internet hilarity, i found out about spooner though smithappens and i have been drawn to it so i must check it daily, even if he's been updating less often then me lately

tuckermax--and on down the line is Tucker Max.com, a fantastic writer who with his constant drinking and belligerent personality, ends up with some of the most rediculous stories ever told...he brings a tape recorder with him drinking to remember the stories and some of the hilarious things that come out of his mouth...and my favorite part, he has 2 books on the market and a highly thought of, well traffic-ed website and he admittedly confuses tenses in his writing, the same way i always have...i always considered it my personal style not a grammar flaw and now i feel vindicated, in most respects this is the man i wish i was. i thank angel for bringing his site to my attention.

explodingdog--Exploding dog is something of a simple idea, that i wish i had first, but since i didnt think of it, i have to just sit and enjoy as Sam Brown takes suggestions about phrases to draw and then draws his characters (fish, robots, aliens, and stick figure people that can express more emotion with simple strokes than i can with the muscles in my face.) in the situational phrase. he also has books on the market. I give the props to Joey Romano for having a link in his away message, and i fell in love...with the site, not joey, but i love joey too.

dantheman--I came across this next guy when i was looking for a domain name for this site, i believe he was the one who once had danwho.com but he is now at DANTHEMAN.com and i love his site, its a collection of stories that really get to you, unless your a cold hearted jerk i guess, you might not be interested if you arent in the right mood, but its really great stuff. hes a great wriiter and an outdoorsy kind of guy and a comforting breath of fresh air He has done so much and seen some great things and i really want to experience and enjoy life like this guy does.

gorillamask--the last one on my list of favorites, and he is only last because his link is a animated GIF and i didnt want to disrupt the layout scheme is Gorillamask.net, which is one of the most frequently updated sites that i've seen and he consistently has incredibly funny and interesting content, another one i found through smithappens.com

Did everyone see Late Night with Conan OBrien's 10th anniversary special, i hope you did, o i love that show and everything about it, it was great. i had planned to recount the guests, clips and total fanfare involved but i wont tease those who didn't see it and i won't be able to top actually seeing it for those who did. It premiered on sunday on NBC and was replayed on Monday on Comedy Central, hopefully Comedy Central replays it a bagillion times like MTV does with their award shows.

my fantasy football team is beyond horrendous, i could go totally winless if something huge doesnt happen, not only is it never really fun to be a hopeless loser in any situation but, for no reason that really factually makes any sense, it seems to me that being horrendous at fantasy football makes me less of a man. I mean i'm a fan of football, i watch it whenever it is on, i have a basic understanding of players stats and abilities, my family has season tickets to the Jets and i go to games when i'm home...but i have a feeling that i am not good at fantasy football. Someone has to come in last, but i have good reason to believe i will be that sap every week. ahahahahaa its really not a big deal, it has nothing to do with me or any of my important qualities but it still stings baby, right here --points to his gunshot wound in his left arm--...i really dont have much to say on this topic, so im kindfa stretching it...stretching it, my heart is pounding and feeling really weird right now, as it has been for the past half an hour...i dont know if its a minor panic attack or something due to my diet or the excedrin i took earlier, but more seriously the beginings of heart problems like a murmur, my mom has one and it runs in her side of the family i believe...and this heart related concern is not isolated, i have had these problems since last year at least...kind of really erratic heartbeat rythms and "panic attack" symptoms when my heart beats really fast and hurts my chest and i have shortness of breath and my arms and legs go numb...i feel nervous and uneasy, but i dont know if its part of the problem or im just worried for my health, im just confused and this post is getting to be a ramble session and im sorry..what an awful way to end this post but i dont feel like editing or deleting.
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Saturday, September 13th, 2003

Subject:5 shots of jack for johnny cash, and tons of beer and the only buzz was euphoria
Time:5:51 am.
everything u could possibly want in a night, everything u could possibly nant in a wight everything u could possibly not in a yacht.....

listen up im trashed, i will do my very best to provide u the viewer with in depth sexuality of the fur traders from eighteenth centruy france....waht the fuck i meant good speeling and grammar and fuck it theres no way, im so gone....hahahah but really now quiet down and give me a moment to explain...

sometimes you feel like a nuti had meant to write a little respect to johnny cash, who i was personally not a fan of, not that i wasnt a fan, but i just never was exposed to his music, but who means a lot to this south which i now call my home, and i had also meant to honor the legend that is, John Ritter who has contributed greatly to my pop culture lifestyle and my entertainment....however i dont thingk that in thisnstate, that i am worthy to sully their good names with my drunken slop, i apologize so far, but i had the best intentions...and i appreciate what you have meant to the world.

last night after the a hora de piedros, the hour of steel or power hour if your not stupid, at ryan and teggy's i ended up in ashby with shaun and smitty and the party sucked, as we walked in, eyes half shut from drunkeness, the kids inside still yelled NERD ALERT. i went up to the ass in particular and said NO, not really, look at my eyelids i cant fucking open them man, so no, not nerds...well anyway after like 5 minutes i knew the party was not for me and i went walking, i talked to like 5 different balconies full of drunks, the last one being the most exciting...theses kids told me they had a drunk girl inside that they were trying to unload and that she was mine for ten dollars, i fucked with them for a few but let them know that drunk as i was there was no way i do them a favor fand it costs me 10 dollars...they threw me a hardrive, a 40 GB hardrive and told me to take it, i bullshitted with them for half an hour about this thing, i was cracking them up like crazy, they kept saying what a smart drunk i was, they told me the hard drive was full of kiddie porn. so i told them i loved it and they'll see me on the news getting busted by the CIA like Pete Townsend...anyway i took the hardrive after all and then went to mc donalds, where i asked the lady for everyone on the dollar menu, like tucker max once did, it was great.

hookahi have been wondering about the hookah crowd outside my window....there has been a group of people at a picnic table directly below my dorm window, everynight until at least 4 or 5 am, everynight, weeknight no fail, rain of course, they are insatiable...to make things more interesting they are equpped as a group with a fucking hookah, a tall bubbly smoking device, tubes and fire and water and bubbles and puffing and oooo yeah...outdoors!? everynight?! is that legal? who are you? well tonight i came home trashed and came into my room heard the chatter below my window and grabbed an apple and went downstairs and outside....i introduced myself and while chomping ym apple, asked about their sleep habits, their hookah and their lives in general...well i made some new friends, i sat down and enjoyed my apple and some nice hookkah puffs...they dont like weed in fact, this hooka has never seen the light of mary J, only tobacco, apple and cherry flavored 'bacca to be exact.. very flavorful...the pufffs really did nothing for me, but it could have been my inebriation, but they claim it to be less harmfull than ciggarettes, no niccatine, so heres to the huka girls and guy....

ryan gray's journal is great, and his update on life gave me a new perspective...he'll tell you himself that he's not rewriting the book on life and how to go about living it, but his update made me think and thats all good writing has to do to be successful, is to make your neurons fire...i went into friday night thinking like Robert Romanus's character in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, "wherever you are, that is the place to be" i have been to a lot of parties where i felt out of place, but even if you don't know anyone, and i always know my friends, even if they are talking to someone at the moment, even if i dont know anyone, and i feel alone or out of place, i can just crack a smile and laugh and feel totally at ease....just force it, nobody dislikes a kid whos smiling, dont take yourself out of the game by not smiling...anyway that is my little advice column to myself and i absolutely love this simple clearly obvious breakthorugh.

i can say that i really am always at the place "to be" because for 2 weekends in a row i have been, and no joke, i have been.....last weekend, if i havent told you formally, and most of you already know, i was hanging at parties with the DUKE DOG, theres video and pictures galore of said hilarity, and its old news, but still maybe the top ten best things ever, EVER....But tonight is also one of the top ten, the preview of whats to come, 1/20 the future excitement, soapy slippery girl on girl thong wrestling in a baby pool...what? hahahah im so sorry if you missed it, and if you were there, nothing i could say could top the images you partook in....but for the rest of the tens of people who might read my site who werent in attendence, u really missed something fantastic and i feel your sorrowful deflated glance at your loss and its burning a hole in my face...
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Thursday, September 4th, 2003

Subject:a little serif, cuz this is serious and i want you eyes to wrap around my words
Time:3:02 am.
Music:in reverie.
parking rapethis post goes out to my nawlins brother Ryan Gray. Ryan was the recent recipient of some parking services rape. During Frog week, when was doing his service to his university and guiding impressionable freshman minds, (and respectfully letting down the hoardes of freshman girls throwing themselves at him), he misunderstood, or was misinformed about where he was allowed to park...during Frog week when classes have not started and half of campus is not around, when parking is not overly crowded, Ryan parked his car in the Godwin lot...He was immediately given a ticket for parking in a faculty lot...slightly confused, and just a teensie bit miffed, Ryan promptly goes to Parking Services to inquire. Well the person on duty at this particular moment was unhelpful and rude, perhaps they were genetically predisposed to rudeness, maybe they had a bad day, but when Ryan calmly asks several times about the nature of the ticket, and why he recieved it when he was led to believe that he was allowed to park there, he was given icy cold expressions and short one word responses...Totally uninterested in Mr Gray's current situation, the Parking representative declined to offer any information, assistance, or human compassion. Well as you might imagine, faced with this uncooperative person and the fine of the ticket, starring him in the face, Ryan began to grow angrier, and perhaps he might have refferred to the Parking Services employees as a certain group of germans made famous through their zest for genocide...and perhaps he let a few choice expletives fly...but anger is a healthy emotion, and in America it is not a crime to become irate. Ryan informed me that he noticed that one of the Parking employees wrote down his license plate number as he was leaving, following his public display of emotion.

They had in fact written his plate down down, and the leader of the orientation staff was contacted, he explained that to avoid any further action, that Ryan might want to write an apology to the parking staff, ryan having calmed down sufficiently, not wanting to make this a bigger deal than it was, and being a good writer, complied and wrote a letter expressing his deepest apologies for his emotions. Emotions, which according to Parking Services should be bottled up, because everyone hired to that department is required to have a heart of stone. danwho ticketWell to add insult to injury, beause thats just the kind of lowlife organization that they are, Parking Services did not accept the apology...Instead they decided it would benefit the university and the world to prolong this incident and hold a grudge by bringing this matter before Judicial. Ryan was charged with one count of Disorderly Conduct, and has a meeting soon so he can go through the judicial process and gather any case he has together...However any case he could compile would be contradictory to his apology letter, which will most likely be the Parking Services' star witness. Additionally Ryan is dead broke, so on top of this ticket, if he were to get some excessive fine, he woulnt be able to pay it. I'll keep you up on any new development with Ryan Gray, or with the inhumanity of Parking Services...oh yeah and by the way, i got a ticket the first day of classes, while i walked from my car to go pick up my prepaid parking decal, i was like ryan, unaware that i was not in a parking lot designated for my particular purpose during the correct hours of a certain day. so you've got a few more enemies to go along with the many others, Parking Nazis, o shit i said it, i hope i dont go to Judicial...

in some less serious news,
The new Saves the Day album is great, Its called In Reverie and many of you who might recall, i really didnt get down the old saves the day stuff, sure some of it wasnt bad but they really overdid their "dark imagery" with the knives, and blood and swallowing of human organs...But In Reverie, is totally different, its so light and happy, the kind of stuff that really alienates a fanbase, it sounds so much like this little band you should also check out, Of Montreal, light happy stuff, thats kind of poetic and witty, i have a feeling Saves the Day stole their new sound directly from Of Montreal, but such is life, i have to give credit to Smit for bringing In Reverie to my attention otherwise i would have dissmissed it as the same old crap, without hearing it.

The New John Mayer, Heavier Things is also really good, i would say its a little different from Room for Squares, it seems maturer or something, its catchy, fun, somewhat emotional, but not as explosively enjoyable as it was to listen to the unfinished Room for Squares and live stuff before that album came out.

theres a new series coming to fox, Skin, or as i like to call it Romeo and Juliet the Series, is about 2 attractive teens who fall in some sort of star crossed love but come from very different families...the girl is the daughter of a wealthy known pornographer, and the guy is the son of the District Attorney....and guess what? the two families want no part in these two being together...the only difference from Romeo and Juliet, is that i assume since this is a recurring show, that these two cant end up dead in each others arms, at least not as quickly as their inspiration...maybe each episode will end in a double suicide...one can but only dream.

FOX is also getting another new series starring Norm MacDonald which should be great, his last show, Norm on ABC was amazing,

CBS has a new comedy coming which looks good, called 2 and a half men, starring Charlie Sheen, Ducky from Pretty In Pink, and the kid from the volkwagon commercial where he races his dad's car, on his bike...he was also in See Spot Run with David Arquette...

im not a fan of "leave it to wanda" or whatever its called, Wanda Sykes's show, or her for that matter, but her season premiere guests stars Dave Chappelle, so i don't think anyone should miss it...after the premiere you can of course go back to not caring at all about her stupid show...unless its good, ive never actually seen it, but i dont really like her, even though she did write for the Chris Rock Show, which was good and she was in Pootie Tang, so i guess maybe i dont dislike her as much as i thought i did, but her show doesnt look like something i would like...who knows, not me, maybe this guy over here does, yeah he knows, but he told me not to tell you cuz its private, and i respect his wishes.

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