Tuesday, April 29th, 2003

One Liner: thanks, really, thank you Time: 11:59 am. Music: MC Chris - Fett's Vette.

hi, yes its true, yesterday was my birthday, im not so much big into my birthday but it always seems to be a beautiful day and people are always exceptionallly nice, nicer than they are to me normally...and people are usually nice anyway...i've got it pretty good. Apparently, according to Conan, April 28th is also the day of birth of Saddam Hussein, so thats a fun fact for ya... well i had a good day, thanks for wondering..and i appreciate all the birthday wishes and anyone who used any of their time to think of me. i spent most of the day outside on the quad in between my classes and i got some color on my face...there were all these cute dogs playing together on the quad, and let me just reitierate that they were cute, cuz thats really the point i was getting at when i mentioned their presence... my mom sent me a card with a check and also sent me a cake and sub party pack through JMU...i picked up the ice cream cake and ballon and the cake was huge and it wouldnt fit into my fridge and i didn't know what to do with it and i didnt have enough time to go back to my dorm before my class so i saw 2 girls and a guy at the bus stop and asked them if they wanted a cake, they said they were going to a picnic so they accepted, and the guys name was also dan, and the cake said happy birthday dan so it worked out well...then i walked around with the balloon and eventually sucked the helium down...i have to go back and get the 3 feet of subs, brownies, six 12 oz sodas and a pound of chips in the next week... mike wanted me to come by so he could buy me some lakeside for my bday to use up his dining dollars, he made sure i was coming so many times that i had my suspicions but you dont want to assume something like a surprise party, especially since i didn't tell anyone my bday was coming up...but the most i had even surmised was that maybe a few people would be at lakeside and say happy birthday, which would have been more than generous... i met mike and he said he lost his JAC card, which is has happened before so it didnt surprise me, and he said James invited him over for some icecream, so now i thought, perhaps when i got there James and Smitty and Steve and Piyum might be there and say happy birthday, but thats still all i was guessing at.. and i got to 1145J and whaa..? whaa..? the place is decorated, and all my friends are there...and more kept coming all night...o man, do i deserve this kind fo star treatment? I got rediculously wasted, all i had eaten all day was an icepop, energy drink and 2 stacker 2's...so with the rapid consumption of alchohol i was sloppy and silly... ryan, angel and nicole all tricked me quite well, cuz i hung out with them on the quad and i mentioned the party pack my parents sent me and therefore mentioned my bday and they acted like they didnt know quite well... there was a pinata that i remember beating the shit out of outside when i was drunk, but i did 10 dizzy bat spins before i went after the pinata's jugular and I was falling into the cars and the pavement of the parking lot, and thats me with the pinata head on, i don't remember much, but really everyone was too nice, they were all there, and thank you everyone for coming, i vaguely remember getting a sweet card, being fed cake, giving speeches, putting elmers into my hair, and dumping a pitcher of water on my head (i didnt remember this until i put on my soaking shoes this morning and steve reminded me) and i remember wanting to watch battle of the sexes and punk'd, but i dont remember anything if i did, and i ended up puking and passing out on the bathroom floor and then later on the couch..theres more pictures and James took a video which i'd be curious to see. i woke up bloody and bruised with a hangover, with my shirt on backwards and wet shoes, and have had cold sweats and a case of the spins all day..but it was so worth it and i love everyone.

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One Liner: "u didnt learn a thing, wallow & still cling to ur mistakes like they're precious memories" Time: 6:05 am.

hey there good to see u again, hey remember all that whining i was doing about not being allowed back to JMU next year for academic reasons...remember, think back...only every other sentence out of my mouth...still blank? well trust me, i think i may have mentioned it...now u remember it...now u forget it.. i talked to my advisor and with a little explanation on my end, he was understanding as long as i think i have the problems fixed...and have some of the problems licked but new ones seem to arise everyday, i think..he said it may take 3 years to get off prohbation but as long as i keep progressing JMU wont kick me out...Now i may have told u this already and your like great i know daniel u get to stay and i care...but i can no longer remember who i have told... the best way for me to have been able to stay at JMU was to tell everyone that I was going to be kicked out...this happens all the time with me...whenever something big seems inevitable, either good or bad, if i mention it to others, even if i say maybe this might happen, then it usually doesnt happen...If i say nothing about it then it happens...u get me?...its like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife...its meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife... the whole getting kicked out fear, helped me really think about what i want to do before i die, see the country, write a novel or screenplay, build a house, and work briefly on a farm...so thats one good thing..one bad thing is that i owe may parents between 12 and 14 Large for this year of semi-vacation..HA i really have never had a grasp on the value of a dollar..'spend spend spend...whatever i'll just pay the late fee..sure i'll pay the fine...no need to haggle over the price, you might be willing to sell for 50 bucks, but i'll give you 200....i'd rather sleep than go to class, whatever i'll just pay my own tuition'...I'm so much fun. on wednesday i did alot of productful stuff, since i got up at 9 for a meeting with my adivsor, the day was so much longer, i'm so used to getting up half an hour before class at 12 or 2 and having the days be so short...but since the day was so much longer i had no clue what to do with myself so i just wandered campus, its amazing how many more people i see when i dont rush to class and then rush back to my side of campus after wards, i hung out in the library talking to people, followed steves tour group around, bought videotapes at walmart, registered for classes, tons of stuff and i still had plenty of time for tv and staring aimlessly at the wall for hours...being awake is cool but its exhausting Nellany, Jessica and Melissa came down to JMU on Thursday and i really had a lot of fun...kinda like junior year, but they were a lot drunker than i was for a change...they had fun too, the parties weren't too great but we did plenty to keep busy and alcohol makes anything a blast...Nellany is coming here next year which is gonna be great, JD is still thinking...and ryans car got towed for the second thusrday in a row, which was one of the funniest things because we saw it get taken right past us as we were walking from a party... if i can only harness whats in my head thats behind the monologues that i think outloud when no one is around, then i will never need to worry about learning the value of a dollar

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Time: 6:19 pm.

o baby do i love some sammiches, and i just finished one and i've got to start out by referring to a n April 19, 2003 smithappens.com post about the cutting of a sandwhich and why it is wrong. From smithappens.com: "Cutting a man's sandwich is equivalent to taking a cute little bear cub from his mother and shoving it in a wood chipper and spraying it all over the momma bear. It's just something that isn't very nice." ahahhahah he makes some good arguments, but I have to disagree strongly...Festival always cuts my sandwich, gently and lovingly. When i'm eating my two halves of sammichy goodness i can handle each half softly like a mother bear and savor each bite...When i finish my first half, i say to myself 'damn that was delicious i wish i had another.' and then i look down and say 'oh bOY!...' Now that we got the business out of the way. hi. Over easter weekend, Angel and I went home with Ryan Gray to Norfolk, Va Beach and Ptown, Portsmouth VA, which i think should be called P-mouth not p-town cuz p-town should be reserved for Portstown (theres got to be one somewhere)..anyway i was just gonna stay on the empty campus for the holiday but Ryan said 'hey do you wanna go..' and before he said where, i had already said yes, cuz i just like to travel and see things. We left around noon and got to Ryans house in Va Beach around 3, saw the beach, met his dad, got some Pizza Chef pizza, which is Ryan's favorite pizza of all time, it was good, but hungry, hungry Angel and I dove in to the pizza too fast and it burned the fuck out of the tops of our mouths. And for the entire weekend we had flaps of skin hanging form the roof of our mouths and all that awful annoying pain. We visited both of Ryans grandmothers and then went out to meet his friends...We went to one kid Tony's house and there were maybe 7 of us there just drinking and smoking, some good stuff too, we left there and went to another party with more people there. this party had more people but the parents came home and they didn't mind all the kids or the drinking but they didnt want the party going on too long so they made everyone leave at 11. so then we went to another party, and as we were going in, some girl across the street was yelling about her party at her place so after going into the party with ryan and meeting people, me and angel wandered across the street to the random anonymous party and ate their cookies, and drank their beer and used their bathroom and petted their dog....we met some nice people and a girl with huge beer barrell shaped MGD mug...then we went back to ryans friends' place for awhile...i don't remember a lot, but me and angel went back to the random party again later but it was dark and the dog was outside on the patio and we got scared so we left...angel told me again later that he went back to the random party again later but the door was locked....We ended up at taco bell which was soo good and then back to Ryan's house. Both me upstairs and Angel downstairs woke up in fear and horror at 7am when a low flying plane from the nearby Naval Base in Norfolk passed overhead and seemed to audibly crash into the house.... On Easter, we went to Ryan's aunts house, a big place with lots of trees and gardens and large lawn. There were a lot of people there, relatives and family friends, and friends of friends, and the yard was littered with small children....We met some family, they all told us to make ourselves at home and then pointed to the bar...hahahha....we ate, chatted, drank, and then it was time for the big annual easter egg hunt. All the little kids got bags and ran around the yard looking for plastic eggs filled with money, bubbles, bouncy balls and candy. There was a hunt in the garden for the real young toddlers, but the main competition is all throughout the yard and trees and its for children under 9 or 10...Ryan had his money on his cousin Samuel and Angel placed his bet on Grant Hill, some little blond kid wearing a number 33 Pistons jersey...i wasnt sure who to back, but then Ryans brother Corey, whos probably 12, ran into the field, so i figured he'd win something...This was Samuel's first year in the main event and his mother was filming and made me fill my pockets with eggs for her son... Samuel came out of the woods without many eggs in his bag, but with the few that i had stored for him, and the fact that his mother bribed Corey to give Samuel his whole bag, Samuel ended up winning second place and the prize of 5 dollars, along with all the money and candy and bubbles and bouncy balls contained within the eggs collected....Later me and Angel were looking for eggs that might have been passed over and we found a few and planted them in plain view so that Grant Hill could find them...We found him about 5 and a half extra eggs and he said he only needed one more to have more than last year, so we went crazy looking for just one more, but we had to get on the road home, and as we were walking down the driveway, Angel looked under a car and found the last one, Hooray for Grant Hill...

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Time: 4:37 am.

hi...tonight 'A Wintery Mix' premiered at the JMU Student film festival...thats the fun-filled seven minutes of footage from a lovely day in the snow that James entered in the festival after all our talking about filming a real movie never came to fruition.... the movie went over well, but it was cut off early by the projectionist, losing the last 30 seconds where Steve hurts himself, a PSA James made that can be found on CannedJam.com, so watch that and imagine it was on the end of a Wintery Mix, which chances are you didnt' see, so watch Steve Hurts Himself and then imagine a well edited, happy film with a good soundtrack was shown before it. There were some artsy films that were just poetic imagery with music, that may or may not have any real meaning behind them, and some other movies with no real plots, but a few films had plots and weren't bad... When each director went up to introduce their movie, some used the opportunity to express beliefs, and take stands and others tried to explain their films but, good ol James, who wasn't previously aware that he had to say anything before a wintery mix was shown, got up there and explained he didnt have anything prepared and then looked at the crowd and said "wow theres a lot of you...thank god for gcom i guess" and then explained that the movie had no real plot... Overall i enjoyed the movies and the speeches and introductions...the best film, which swept the awards was 'Its Canadian' which was well shot and edited, acted pretty decently and witty and funny. IN non-filmfest news, i finally returned my library books that i used for both of my gcom projects and they were overdue, some for a few weeks now...i returned the books and the woman at the desk said jokingly, "wow, you arent gonna be able to afford to eat for awhile." i laughed thinking yeah poor college kid, right i get it, so whats its like 10 bucks in late fees or something? $61!!!!! my laziness and once again gotten me a fine of some sort and this one really kinda hurts, cuz its so unexpected..how does a quarter a day add up so quick...louise!....i was fined 25 for being lazy and not checking out of my dorm correctly for spring break....i lost 40 for insufficeint funds when ebay automatically took out my bill but i took my money out of my account because i thought they had already taken their payment, twice,...i owed telecom a bunch of late fees for paying my bill ofor the 1st and only time a few days ago... and now 61 for books, i didnt want to buy them, fucking sneaky library..well i got it good and hard.

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One Liner: familiar it will seem Time: 3:52 am.

this weekend was a bit of a blur..alot of shots of vodka later and today i wake up sore as hell with the words Danwho written all over my chest, stomach and both arms..my monitor was broken, as was my chair, matts urine on my floor was still not cleaned up, i missed my fantasy draft despite ryan calling me to remind me..i left a rediulous full page message on joshs door which he sent me a picture of, i played alot of MVP baseball at angels, got burnt cheesy bread 2 nights in a row from lakeside...watched college hoops..tysons last nite on kimmel...saw the Recruit at Grafton-stovall...got into wesley willis for free, called everyone i knew, pushed shaun on the stage and he stage dived at my feet as no one caught him... on thursday night matt came home, i had stayed in to do work which didnt really get done...anyway he was hammered and came in angrily and then settled down and rambled and mumbled to me for a while then went to the bathroom and fell asleep in there, he came back 45 minutes later and went to bed...later in the night i woke up to him pissing on the floor next to my bed..i said matt dude u know ur peeing on the floor right, a few times and he finally heard me and got scared and jumped into bed and made some frightened noises..i went to sleep..then we both woke up and elliot was in our room just standing over matt, i dont remember much i was sleepy...later when i woke up fully i asked matt if he remebered peeing on the floor and he had no idea until he saw the stains...but he said he recalled peeing alot, and that he had peed in a cup and threw it against the wall...and he was right... both friday and sat were similar...me, ryan and angel went to dhall got dinner and then drank vodka in angels room while playing MVP baseball, i dont remeber details of each night but between the two angel, ryan, james, mike, nicole, shaun, tegitoff, div, abby, and martin were there...i was wasted both nights and we saw The Recruit for 2.50 and watched tysons last nite on kimmel on friday and the final four and saw Wesley Willis on saturday. we got into wesley for free, phil smiley was working the door but i dont think he was the one you pay to get in..i think the girls at the table with the money were but we just walked past them...anyway we were 5 feet from wesley and i was screamin in his face and pointing at him and he definitely saw me, im not bragging he saw lots of people, and im not saying im proud i was noticed by a guy who makes his living being fat, slow and minimally talented...anyway i dont remember much of what he sang it was really just him sitting mumbling into a microphone as he read the lyrics and threw in a "Shut the fuck up" here or a "suck some random objects dick" there. he didnt seem to be actually playing his casio keyboard either...we pushed shaun up on stage, which was only a foot or 2 high, and as the security KID was coming over to knock him out, shaun jumped into the crowd but fell on his ass...i remember calling lots of my friends at the concert and afterwards, i was talking to this kid bobby outside my building who was a trashed as me and i saw ryan gray walking back from maureens and we were talking but all i remembered was havng trouble standing up...i ended up on the second floor wiriting messages to josh and andy mac and then i was talking to two melissas and a lauren on the fourth floor about the fact i had danwho written on both my arms...eventually in my room my monitor on my computer flickered and shorted out and i was very drunk and angry about it, i figured it was the connection or the wires but was too drunk to fix the problem so i threw my chair against the wall and i guess passed out..today i figured it out but its still tempermental, but i think tis just the wires... "because all the names and places i have taken from your life...so please dont be upset at this portrait that i paint..it may be a little biased..but at least i spelled your name right.."

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Time: 4:07 am.

hellos...i took a GCom test today and got a 92, and without one lick of studying, how bout that...i know u dont wanna hear that i didnt study, ur like dan u moron ur gonna get kicked outta school i thought u were gonna start trying...and i am doing some actual work and i really did plan on studying but i knew i didnt need much for this test, but i got distracted and then slept in so i didnt actually study but i really was gonna... but hey 92 aint bad there now...but this weekend i have some big stuff to accomplish so dont fret I'm working hard... in other danwho flunks out of college news, my second calc test of the semester is on tuesday at 6pm...my class is mondays and wednesdays at 1:25pm but for some reason the test is at a completely different time...now ive been much better with attendence this semester than last but thats not saying much because i only went to 2 calc classes total last semester and it was a lab so it met 4 times a week...if for some reason i would have skipped my last class on wednesday i would have never found out about the test and would have failed the class for sure and for certain and for the second semester in a row...but i went to class and my teacher is really not worth listening to so out of the normal 35 or so kids only 10 including myself were present to find out about the abnormal test time which isnt even in the same floor as our normal classroom...i dont know why he's doing this but im guessing because he doesnt take attendance, the only way he can stick it to the kids who skip is to trick them with the test time...i had missed a few classes prior so i dont know if its been that empty for weeks or if it was only a one time thing...either way there are 25 kids who have no clue when the test is...and thankfully i am not one of them for once... yesterday, minutes before one of my auctions was to be sold for $30, Mtv's The State VHS and bonus data CDs, ebay removed it from its listings..it not only removed it but all records of any of my previous sales of it...i thought it was because i still owe them my sellers fees from last month but apparently i violated their Recorded Media Policy... you can not list CD-Rs, DVD-Rs, or any other forms of recordable media on eBay unless they are blank or you own the copyright. Examples: The following are examples of items that may not be listed on eBay: Music compilations on CD-R The entire first season of a television series on one DVD-R Compilation of 500 "freeware" and "shareware" programs on one CD-R A VHS copy of a movie taped off of television <---they didn't get me for this YET...but if they do I'm over The reason the State auction was intercepted was because the data CD's with quicktime files of State skits, that i threw in as a free bonus, was a red flag that only took a month or so for the sleuth department at ebay to find... So far i am flying under their radar as are many of others sellings tapes...Selling VHS tapes or DVDs is OK but not if you made them yourself...i was hoping maybe that the prick who burned Salute Your Shorts to DVD and stole my business would get caught....but for ebay to search through all the DVD listings and determine that he made them himself is a pipedream that will never be realized...if they get him then chances are they'll get me for my tapes and that just would not do. mike tyson has been cohosting Jimmy Kimmel this week and its been some of the best television ever...Tonight Tyson and Kimmel did 20 minutes of sucking in helium and talking to each other...Mikes voice was so high, marlon wayans said only dogs could hear it...later marlon talked about when mike threatened to kill the whole Wayans family for doing tyson sketches on In Living Color and how their mom got involved and told mike to stop being a bitch...all mike could say was that he doesnt know why he did those things but he as pissed, he was crazy back then...later ali landry came out and mike was hitting on here like crazy saying that when he got into show business recently his agents asked him what he wanted and all he said was when he sees a commercial and sees a hot white girl, he wants them to make sure he can have her...and then he said her boyfriend Mario Lopez was prettier than her...later Mike sung Karaoke and ending up serenading Ali landry...it was the best thing i've seen in awhile... and now that tyson is trying to make some money in entertainment outside of boxing we should see iron mike everywhere..and i cant see myself ever getting tired of him....

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Time: 2:48 am.

hi this sketch is crap and the scanner did not do it justice and i dont feel like re-scanning its pissing me off its so awful right now but its pretty much all i did today.... but wait i did watch a ton of Major League Baseball...the Yankees won despite the fact that Toronto catcher Ken Huckaby ran down the line to intercept Jeter sliding headfirst into third and dislocated Derek's shoulder with his damnable shin guards...on the up side, Soriano had his first grand slam ever and Clemens is now only 6 wins from 300... For those of you who were aware, Yankees/Nets Corporation which George Steinbrenner has majority control of has been at odds with Cablevision, one of the major cable tv and internet companies in Northern New Jersey and parts of New York ( they own or did own at one time the Knicks and The Wiz) This feud has kept Steinbrenner's YES network off of cablevision. YES has the sole rights to Yankees games, and Nets and Devils games starting next year. So because some rich ego driven morons couldnt come to agreeable terms, millions in NJ and NY were to be without local professional sports coverage. This is a fight that has led hundreds of thousands to buy satelite dishes in the area or at very least right angry letters and yell..but still nothing was done...I was planning on going home this summer and buying a subscription to MLB.com's internet streaming video baseball broadcasts starting this season to catch a glimpse of the Bronx Bombers, even it was a choppy one in a small window. But i got off the phone with my mom today and she informed me that the battle is over...Recently legislators got involved, i am unsure of at what level, but they set today, opening day, as a deadline for a deal to be struck between the two angry giants. It was reported last night that a deal was done and then reported today that Steinbrenner had pulled out and demanded still more money but at 7pm when the Yanks took the field, The YES Network finally was boradcast in Cablevision homes...i couldn't be happier....im not sure if you know how mad i was, we all were, last season when all but a handful of ESPN broadcast Yankee regular season games were unavailable to watch. "I feel i must interject here..you're getting carried away, feeling sorry for yourself"

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Danny Who loves you.