Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004

One Liner: piss test Time of Death: 6:02 pm.

now this is none of my business, at least not at this time, but lets talk about pregnancy tests. I have no experience in the matter, and I'm thinking if I were to perhaps have gotten a girl pregnant, that she would hold the little tester under her piss, without needing much input from me... but maybe I'm wrong, maybe this is a couple type thing like taking a salsa dance class...maybe its as invigorating and freeing as a swingers social at the local Elk's club, so if I'm way off on the golden shower and little stick ceremony of commitment, then feel free to tell me so. I was in class today and during some discussion about whether you would choose to know the future if you could, somebody asked if you would have to know everything about the future or just a similar amount relative to the extent that a person knows the present. The professor said indignantly "no you can't have your cake and eat it too, its all or nothing, you're not somewhat pregnant, you either are pregnant or you're not." Which got me thinking about the commercial that I had seen just the other day for a new pregnancy test. This commercial began with "Now it's possible to be just a little bit pregnant!" Really? What new technology can do nowadays is really remarkable. Well good marketing, you got my attention and I'm not in the market for baby-detecting pee sticks. Apparently their are at least two new pregnancy tests available that can detect pregnancy up to four days before you, and by you I mean me, miss your period. Both First Response Early Result and Clearblue Easy Earliest Results test claim that they tell you if you are pregnant earlier than any other brand. I don't know how both can claim such a thing, they can't both be the quickest. In other fascinating pregnancy test news, their are now digital displays that spell out "Pregant" or "Not Pregnant" which is good I guess, clarity is key, but that signals the retirement of all those generic sitcom jokes about how no one can tell if its one blurry blue line or two blurry blue lines, or a pink colon or a red semicolon. "Apu & Manjula: [as symbols appear on the tester] Baby ... baby ... oh, lemon" (simpsons)

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