Saturday, February 21st, 2004

One Liner:Applesauce
Time of Death:11:20 pm.
  • In the past year I've had a broken foot (my first broken bone)
  • My first ever (through fourth) bloody noses
  • Mono (which included uvula expansion to the point where if I moved I choked on it)
  • weeks of insomnia
  • a handful of colds and and stomach viruses
  • and now a lower back muscle strain (i hope thats all it is) that has been bothering me for about 2 weeks

apples make me feel goodI don't take very good care of myself, I can't claim that I do. I'm falling apart, and it might be a testament to the old saying. You know the one, say it with me: ("Never eat cheese before noon")---Stop. Just Stop, no more viewer participation. Of course I was referring to "An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away." Yes thats the one I was talking about.


I'm going to the doctor on monday. I've seen doctors, voluntarily, 7-10 times this year, which is 7 to 10 more times per year than ever before. So I'm doing something wrong. But it might be lack of apple consumption. I've never been this plagued by ailments ever in my life.


The most healthy part of this year was the beginning of this past fall semester when I ate an apple everyday for about a month and a half. That was right after my broken foot healed and right before my mono raped my mouth, having its way with my hanging ball. A beautiful window of little over a month where I was both golden and delicious.


I would get my apples from the various campus eateries, and some people would scoff and say, "Apples from campus, gross" or "I've never liked apples" or "You look so stupid with little bits of apple stuck in your braces" And I'd say "look closer, i haven't had braces for over 5 years, moron."


frosty goodnessWhen I started getting an apple everyday, the virus fighting fruit was always crisp and lovely. Then sometimes I'd get a mushy one, that decieved my judegement during my meticulous selection process. But before long the quality of the spawn of the Malus Pumila (apple tree) provided began to suffer drastically, and that's when I changed my consumption routine, and that was the beginning of the end.


"-he said 'It's all in your head,' and I said, 'So's everything'
-But he didn't get it - " (Fiona Apple)
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Danny Who loves you.


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